What our Most Intimate Relationships Show us about Ourselves

What our Most Intimate Relationships Show us about Ourselves

We all know that when we look in a mirror, we see our own reflection staring back at us.

I think what many of us fail to realize (at least I did) is that our relationships, especially our most intimate ones, are also mirroring back to us both our light and shadows—the qualities we like about ourselves and the disowned parts of us.


This is great news—our relationships give us opportunities to learn about ourselves on a deep level and grow tremendously.
How does this work? Well, what we adore and admire in another is also in us—and what triggers a negative reaction in us, in the relationship, are the wounds that need to be healed. I call these wounds our life assignments.

I’ll give you an example. I recently met a man who I connected with very quickly and organically on every level. He filled me up—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I felt as though I had finally met my match. However, almost as soon as I felt a strong connection to him, I began to feel a cool distance from him. Fear and insecurities came up for me.

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